A500.2.3.RB_RuggerioSteven

Title: The Importance of Relevance and Depth in Personal Transformation

One of my personal goals in leadership is to help men avoid and/or remove regret. Life is short. Our lives, up to this point, consists of the cumulative value of all our decisions. The unending choices and agreements are collectively creating who we are. Opportunities embraced and those lost have sporadically dotted our life like push pins on a global map. Make no mistake; our lives will leave an indelible imprint on our families, friends, and community. What legacy will we leave? The seven standards of reasoning: clearness, accuracy, relevance, sufficiency, depth, breadth, and precision, are actually characteristics of our personhood. They define how we move in-and-out of people’s lives. They are much more than reasoning tools. While all seven are critical to my life, there are two that that are set apart: relevance and depth.

Twelve years ago I experienced one of those “life-changing moments” that caused me to look hard at myself in the mirror.  In that moment, it felt as if I were looking at a twin brother, someone hell-bent on destroying me. If that were the case, if it really was a twin, change would be easy. I could simply distance myself from him. Unfortunately, the reflection wasn’t going anywhere and I couldn’t run from him. Trust me, I tried that approach for three decades—it wasn’t working. In that moment, looking at the reflection, I couldn’t find integrity, character, fidelity, or purpose in the image looking back at me. Walking away from the mirror in the fall of 2000, I was destined to find every one of those qualities and more. The battle had begun.

George MacDonald (2011), in his book, Building Below the Waterline tells of David McCullough’s book The Great Bridge in which there is a fascinating story about the building of the Brooklyn Bridge. He writes, “In June 1872, the chief engineer of the project wrote: ‘To such of the general public as might imagine that no work had been done on the New York tower, because they see no evidence of it above the water, I should simply remark that the amount of the masonry and concrete laid on that foundation during the past winter, under water, is equal in quantity to the entire masonry of the Brooklyn tower visible today above the waterline’” (MacDonald, p. 1).  MacDonald draws a perfect picture of my life when he says, “The work done below the waterline (in a leader’s soul) is what determines whether he or she will stand the test of time and challenge” (p. 1).

Relevance and depth are as important to my life as concrete and steel were to building the Brooklyn Bridge. As a man of great Christian faith, I recognize that I can only change myself to a degree. I can make right decisions, avoid self-destructive behavior, and focus on helping other people more than meeting my own desires. However, at the end of the day, I hold onto the truth that it is God, by the power of his sovereignty, through grace and mercy that directs me and ultimately, changes me. Submitting my life to pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ has empowered me to understand a purpose greater than simply professional success or selfish achievement. My purpose has taken shape. My motivations are genuine and my legacy has changed. Transformation has occurred and continues to occur.

One of the pillars supporting my life is the standard of relevance and importance. In short, am I engaged in the lives of my family and friends? Do I operate with an awareness of the social issues affecting our society? Do I know what issues are currently weighing on my wife? Am I cognizant of the challenges facing my nineteen-year-old son? Can I assuage my daughter’s deepest fear? What steps can I take to aid my son-in-law toward achieving his goals? What am I doing about ensuring a better future for my 19-month old grandson? What am I doing to help men, marriages, and the mass of people hopelessly meandering through life?

Prior to the year 2000, being relevant meant having the newest CD, going to see the latest movie, staying current on the popular fashion, and being well versed on cars and sports. Being able to breakdown the statistics of my favorite sport’s athlete and add some insight to possible technological changes made me feel important. Today, those topics carry no weight in my life. Sure, they may come up in conversation but I no longer feel irrelevant if I do not know who sold the most songs in 2012 or from what college an NFL quarterback graduated. Rather, because I live my life through the lens of Scripture, my conversations are centered on growing my faith, leading my family, and helping people in need.

Nosich (2012) said in the section How to Focus on What Is Most Important, “Practice picking out what is essential to the other person” (p. 143). No longer do I place my comfort, wants and desires ahead of those I’m called to love and serve. Oddly enough, as I have focused on others, I’ve achieved greater goals than I have ever dreamed possible. In his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, John Maxwell (2007) said, “When you add value to people, you lift them up, help them advance, make them a part of something bigger than themselves, and assist them in becoming who they were made to be” (p. 53).  I measure my success as a husband, father, and friend by the accomplishments of those I am called to serve.

In addition to relevance, importance, and living with an awareness of life is the impact of depth. As George MacDonald so eloquently highlighted earlier, depth in my life consists of the roots on which integrity is found. It is nourished through the consistent and selfless decisions made every day. Decisions that honor my wife, choices that demonstrate my children are a priority, fidelity to my employer, and offering respect to everyone I meet converge to strengthen the core of who I am. Nosich said depth is taking account of the complexities that underlie an issue (p. 147). By practicing the standard of depth, by spending quiet time alone and seeking to understand my thought processes, I solidify the foundation from which I operate. Where once I was superficial and selfish, my transformation over the past twelve years has changed me to be insightful and authentic.

Finally, if I can, I’d like to quote Mr. MacDonald one last time. He said, “If we don’t know ourselves and what shaped us, what neutralizes us, and what our limits are, we invite disaster. Many men and women in leadership positions are insecure. Some struggle with large unresolved areas from the past. Unless the past can be resolved, it often becomes an Achilles’ heel in leadership” (p. 7). If someone told me where I would be today when I walked away from the mirror twelve years ago, I would not believe it. It hasn’t been easy. The battle still rages. However, today, there is only a faint remnant of the old man in the mirror. Now the reflection in the mirror has purpose, experiences fulfillment, lives with integrity and character, and serves those he loves. Nosich’s standards, when applied to everyday life, will ensure the stories of life will remain long after we’re gone. Stay relevant and go deep. Keep changing.

No regrets.

Steve

References:

MacDonald, G. (2011). Building Below the Waterline. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson Publishers Marketing.

Maxwell, J. (2007). The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Nashville, TN. Thomas Nelson.

Nosich, G. (2012). Learning to Think Things Through (4nd ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc.

A500.1.5.RB_RuggerioSteven

Title: The Power of Intellectual Perseverance

According to the U.S. Department of Education, only 20 percent of young people who begin their higher education at a two-year institution graduate within three years. There is a similar pattern in four-year institutions, where about 4 in 10 students receive a degree within six years (Mui & Khimm, 2012). A study at Bowling Green showed divorce rates among couples over 50 have doubled in the last 20 years. In 1990, fewer than one in 10 people who divorced were 50 or older. In 2009, that figure was one in four (Clary & Jones, 2012).  Lastly, according to University of Scranton’s Journal of Clinical Psychology, only 46% of people who make New Year’s resolutions continue their commitment after six months.

Simple facts? Or, signs of a deeper issue? Personally, I believe they speak of a much more insidious nature within our thinking. It is a mentality of giving up, checking out, or calling it quits. Whether it’s young adults giving up on education or older couples giving up on their marriage, when we default on our responsibilities, commitments, and decisions, everyone suffers.

Sally quits college after her second semester because she needs to “find herself.” George walks out on his wife after twenty-five years of marriage because his secretary was impressed with his Audi and corner office. And year after year, around June, thousands of New Year’s resolutions fade-away as the summer barbecues get underway.

These three examples are often associated with one’s willpower, commitment, and character. While that is true, I believe they also pertain to one’s intellectual perseverance. Quitting college, leaving a spouse, or canning a resolution is also about our minds and intellect. They are not merely a result of immaturity, selfishness, and laziness. Before you quit—no, before you even begin—you must prepare your mind for the journey that lies ahead: Preparation is key for intellectual perseverance.

What is intellectual perseverance? It’s more than simply longer thinking and aggressive reasoning. According to the Critical Thinking Community (1996) intellectual perseverance is “Having a consciousness of the need to use intellectual insights and truths in spite of the difficulties, obstacles, and frustrations. It’s a firm adherence to rational principles despite the irrational opposition of others. And, it is a sense of the need to struggle with confusion and unsettled questions over an extended period of time to achieve deeper understanding or insight.”

In other words, it’s when one knows the value of deep thought in the midst of present challenges. It’s standing for what you believe in no matter the cost. And lastly, it’s the will to keep going in the face of uncertainty; when there are more questions than answers.

For example, every morning, like millions of others, I spend time in front of the mirror before I leave the house and go to work. I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, “mirror time” is also decision time. As I contemplate the day’s appointments, meetings, deadlines, husband and fathering responsibilities, church duties, and all the other demands tugging at my schedule, I remember my college coursework. From reading twenty pages, writing 500 words, preparing for future assignments, and answering posts, it can start to feel a bit overwhelming. To be honest, there are times I think, “Why college? Why again? Really? You’re almost fifty for crying out loud! Isn’t there something better you can do with your time?”

That’s where intellectual perseverance is tested. This is the time when our commitments are made or fade. When I decide to dive deeper into my reasons for taking classes, I activate the strength of perseverance and character. Isn’t that what leadership is all about? The list of leaders available in a simple Google search will speak of perseverance in the face of difficulty.

Earlier this week, the New York Yankees were eliminated from the American League Championship Series. The power of perseverance made me think of Yankee legend, Babe Ruth. According to Harry K. Jones at Achieve Max, Mr. Babe Ruth, the man synonymous with baseball folklore, apparently knew a thing or two about perseverance. While Babe Ruth is remembered as the “Home Run King” he was also the “Strike-Out Champion.” Ruth failed at bat 1,330 times—more than any other player in the major leagues at that time (Jones, 2001).

Every time Ruth made the long walk following a strike out from home plate back to the dugout, he had a decision to make. Quit or keep going? Ruth made a minimum of 1,330 decisions to go forward. What if he would have quit after one, ten, a hundred, or a thousand strike outs?

Part of intellectual perseverance is “knowing why you’re doing what you’re doing.”  As leaders, we must be the voice of reason, truth, and encouragement for our teammates, coworkers, family, and friends. But remember, in order to do that, we must be pressing forward as well. What about you? Are you moving forward?

Steve

References:

Clary, G. & Jones, A. (2012). Baby Boomer Divorce Rates Double. Retrieved from

http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/24/living/baby-boomer-divorce/index.html.

Critical Thinking Community, The. (1996). Valuable Intellectual Traits. Retrieved from

            http://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/valuable-intellectual-traits/528.

Jones, H.K. (2001). When the Going Gets Tough. Achieve Max, Inc.  Retrieved from

www.achievemax.com/newsletter/01issue/motivational-article.htm.  

Mui, Y. & Khimm, S. (2012). College dropouts have debt but no degree. Retrieved from

http://www.washingtonpost.com/business/economy/college-dropouts-have-debt-

but-no-degree/2012/05/28/gJQAnUPqwU_story.html.

New Years Resolutions Stats. (2012). Retrieved from www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-

            resolutions-statistics/.