A632.4.5.RB_RuggerioSteven

Deceptions in Negotiations

My son-in-law is a bartering king.  Watching him spin a deal is a thing of beauty.  He negotiates purchases as smoothly and fluently as Michael Phelps glides through the water.  He uses stubbornness like a woman flashes cleavage.  And, truth be told, it works just as well.  Conversely, I am terrible at it.  Lack of negotiating skills is written all over my face.  And, in some circles, that’s not a bad thing.  Based on research by Porter et al (2009) psychopaths were 2.5 times as likely as their counterparts to be granted parole; a pattern attributed in part to their convincing emotional performances (Porter, Brinke & Wallace, 2011).  So, while it’s good to know I’m not a psychopath, I would still like to improve my skills of “wheeling-and-dealing.”

Hoch & Kunreuther (2001) said, “Deception of some kind is an inherent part of human interaction” (p. 189).  When people hear the word “negotiations,” many different images come to mind.  The pictures can range from the boardroom to the showroom, and dare I say, even the bedroom?  High-powered corporate executives deliberate over a conference table, a young married couple sits restlessly in the small office of a car dealership, and many private promises pass between husband and wife all demonstrate the various masks of the negotiator. 

Negotiators have both incentives and opportunities to mislead others.  For example, negotiators who use deception often benefit by increasing their power, their perceived power, and their profits (Schweitzer & Croson, 1999).  Rather than play the part of the pawn, Hoch & Kunreuther provide insight on identifying signs of deception during negotiations.  These signs empower a party to recognize lies and deceptive techniques.  Knowing these can limit manipulations; help you avoid being swallowed by another’s agenda; and could protect you from investing time, money, and personal information to someone with ill intent.

Along those same lines, Fisher, Ury, and Patton (1991) suggest that negotiators “learn to spot particular ploys that indicate deception” and then “raise the issue explicitly and question the tactic’s legitimacy” (p. 130).  According to Hoch & Kunreuther (2001), the following are four signs to watch for during a negotiation process.

1.     Establish trust – work to establish a foundation for trust at the beginning of the negotiation process.

2.     Listen carefully – be sure that the person providing the information is in a position to know that information. Listen to what is being said and what is not said.

3.     Pay attention to nonverbal cues – nonverbal cues are more revealing than verbal cues. Such as, less head movement, increased blinking, increased use of self-adapters, pupil dilation, increased sweating, false smiles, and conflicting microexpressions (brief lapses in facial expression).

4.     Keep records and get things in writing – keep a record of other’s claims. Inspect records and insist on guarantees.

Scattered among the landscape of rural America are small used car lots.  Normally, these mom-and-pop lots contain anywhere between 20 and 30 automobiles managed by a number of independent car dealers.  Thrifty Cars, Pete’s Used Cars, and Save-A-Lot Automobile signs advertise a great buy at a low price.  Just over a year ago, my son and I went shopping for his first vehicle.  These are how great memories are made, right?  He’s always been an avid four-wheeling junkie so his heart was set on an older model Toyota 4-Runner.  Rather than spend our time looking at new, shiny trucks lined up at the Toyota dealership, we found ourselves at Russ’ Auto Land.  I’m sure you know where this is going.

Ten minutes into the negotiation process with “Russ,” I thought we established a certain level of trust.  Before long, Russ was speaking to me as if we’d known each other for years.  Though his affection toward our family outing seemed a bit trite and scripted, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and played along.  I listened carefully and watched the nonverbal expressions while Russ made promises and assurances.  Establish trust: Check. Listen Carefully: Check. Watch for nonverbal: Check. Get it in writing: Huh?

Used car lots are like naval ports: high on love and promises and low on commitment and follow through.  The bonding and pride of buying my son his first vehicle was quickly replaced by the thousands of dollars worth of repairs needed in the first six months.  In his excitement, when we bought the truck, my son kept the cardboard sign touting, “1996 4-Runner! Great condition! Only $6999!”  The sign was quickly sent to the trash as the $6999 rose to $7500 to $8200, then $9000, and finally resting comfortably at $9800. 

There is some consolation in knowing I am not alone.  It’s the reason the Lemon Law was invented.  It was a costly lesson but my son loves his truck.  We probably would have driven right past the lot had the cardboard sign in the window read, “1996 Toyota! Just under $10K!” In the future, I will ensure all promises, claims, and guarantees are in writing.

My ministry functions involve connecting, encouraging, counseling, and leading men.  As part of a regional men’s ministry, our organization conducts quarterly seminars to help men establish priorities and maintain balance in their hectic schedules.  While many of these seminars are insightful and offer valuable information, some leave a little to be desired.  Unfortunately, some of the seminar speakers are not as skilled as others in communicating.  As a member of the regional team, I’m obligated to promote these venues to many of my friends and colleagues.  Most of the time, I can do that without reservation.  Yet, there have been times when I’ve overstated seminar benefits to encourage men to register.

My use of words like, “life-changing” and “edge-of-your-seat” excitement fell somewhat short as my seminar guests fought to stay awake.  When men pay $100 and allot four hours on a Saturday morning, they expect quality.  Again, most seminars were memorable; yet others left men wanting and wondering.  Exaggerated claims and lofty promises hindered my ability for future seminar promotions.  The foundation of leadership is integrity.  Stretching truths, false statements, and unsupported claims can bruise a leader’s integrity.  Regardless of one’s desire to win a deal, sponsor an event, or lead a team, honesty and forthrightness always trumps deception.

John Wooden, famous basketball coach said, “Ability may get you to the top but it takes character to keep you there.”  At the end of the day, it’s not money, power, or position that provides fulfillment; but rather, the honest and trustworthy interaction between family, friends, and associates.  Personally, I’d rather lose the sale than risk my integrity.  Finally, my ability to persuade others based on a strong reputation; accumulate trust because of previous dealings; and authentic connections made through hard work, empathy, and strong emotional intelligence is the characteristics of my communication.  Anytime I feel the need to leverage these attributes to influence another person, I should step back and reevaluate my goal in the communication.

Legacy learns from mistakes.

Steve

References

Fisher, R., Ury, W., & Patton, B. (1991). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreements Without Giving In. New York, NY: Penguin Books.

Hoch, S. J., Kunreuther, H.C., & Gunther, R.E. (2001). Wharton on Making Decisions.

New York, NY: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

Porter, S., Brinke, L., & Wallace, B. (2011). Secrets and Lies: Involuntary Leakage in Deceptive Facial Expressions as a Function of Emotional Intensity. Journal of Nonverbal Behavior, 36, 23-37.

Schweitzer, M.E., Croson, R. (1999). Curtailing Deception: The Impact of Direct Questions on Lies and Omissions. The International Journal of Conflict Management, 10(3), 225-248.