Believe In What You Believe In
I don’t hug trees; I should recycle more;
I’ve never been on a march in support of an issue; and, I don’t drive a
hybrid. I am a Christian. Simply stating my religious affiliation
somehow typecast me as: pro-life, conservative, anti-gay, pro-military, gun-owner,
republican, puritanical, self-righteous, and somewhat discriminatory. I am some of those; but certainly not all of
them. I am married, have two children,
and one grandchild. I have a Shetland
sheepdog, work as a defense contractor, have lost most of my hair, and own a
minivan. All things being equal, I bet most agree with my values. Rather than attach
myself to an issue and hold on for dear life; I’ve undergirded my life with
three guiding values and stand upon them when living everyday life: my faith,
my freedom as an American citizen, and the protection, security, and love for
my family.
In Hoch & Kunreuther’s Wharton on Decision Making, values are
defined as “Criteria that are explicitly and reflectively endorsed by the
holder; they are our best judgments of the goodness of outcomes” (p. 247). In more practical terms, Dan Gilbert, in his
video, Why We Make Bad Decisions
said, “When estimating value, we consider what something is worth, how much
we’ll enjoy it, and lastly, what pleasure it will give us.” Values can be quickly reduced to preferences
and simple desires based on the depth of emotions stirred within us and the
variable cost associated with taking a stand in support of said value. In our world, values abound. They range from ecological to
psychological. What one considers
valuable; other person views as insignificant.
In short, values are deeply
personal. They are the DNA of our
personalities. As leaders, it is wise to
know your values; know how far you’d go to protect them; and lastly, how they
influence your decision-making.
Filtering decisions through the colander of faith, family, and freedom
can get a little “sticky” at times.
“Die Religion…ist das Opium des Volkes” is
probably the best-known quotation by Karl Marx, the German economist and
Communist political philosopher (www.phrases.org).
Frequently expressed as an insult to
people of faith, religion as the opium of
the masses unfairly labels people as narrow-minded and absent of critical
thinking skills. Marx’s interpretation
that faith anesthetizes people from real life is as misguided as his communist views. Operating from a standard of faith brings
clarity to my decision-making process.
It acts as a moral compass to ensure my thought process continues in the
direction of my values.
I’ve never aggressively proselytized and can
have meaningful discussions surrounding anyone’s foundation of faith. One of our country’s core values is freedom
of religion and like the original men who fought and died to protect it; I
would do the same. Since my faith is
integrated into my life, it is valued and protected by its very presence. While I avoid pressing, pushing, shouting, or
being “preachy,” I believe the best witness to one’s faith is their character,
humility, countenance, and genuine concern for other people. I understand the basis behind the separation
of church and state; however, when extremist try to remove any semblance of God
and faith from our country, it is time to stand up and defend the rights of
people to worship.
In January 2010, 16-year old Kenneth
Dominguez was suspended for two days from Gateway East High School for
violating a teacher’s order not to bring his Bible to school and not to discuss
his faith with others (Jones,
2011). On September 20, 2012 some
Southeast Texas cheerleaders were told to stop putting Bible verses on banners
for high school football games (AFA,
2012). In May 2000, a Houston-based
teacher told a pupil he was not allowed to read the Bible during free reading
time and forced him to put it away. The
boy was also required to remove a Ten Commandment book cover from another book
(Rice, 2000). These, and stories like them, are becoming
more and more prevalent. Standing upon
our values will empower us to claim our rights to worship and practice our
faith without fear of retribution.
Along those same lines are the rights and
duties of all Americans to defend the U.S. Constitution and the principles
surrounding equal rights. Valuing our
rights as citizens can create a morass of challenges. Interpretations, government programs, a
bludgeoning deficit, and an unstable world make our values more sacred than
ever. After following the path of scores
of men and women who served in the military, my twenty-years etched roots of
patriotism deep in my character and behavior.
While I haven’t stormed Washington, DC, I have written the men and women
of Congress. I continue to petition
local and state legislators to ensure the governing principles that I believe
in are not compromised or changed to fit an ill-advised agenda. Voting may be only the first step in our
democratic system but it is one we should all hold dear.
Lastly, faith and freedom would be
incomplete in my life if I didn’t have my family to share it with. The oft-used axiom, “You don’t know what
you’ve got till it’s gone” resonates throughout all my decisions. The first three decades of my life were lived
without a deep and sincere gratitude for my family. After nearly losing them and making the
necessary changes, I’ll never make that mistake again. And now, there isn’t a mountain high enough
or a valley low enough that I wouldn’t go through to protect and provide for my
family.
If our foundational family values are not
anchored, we will feel adrift as waves of choice wash through our life. After agreeing on a list of family values, it
takes effort to stick to them. Once
established, it’s wise to schedule time to talk about this topic, at least on
an annual basis. You need to keep a
fresh understanding of what is really driving you individually, your marriage
and your family. Changes in values are
inevitable as your family matures (Rainey, 2000, p. 62).
Ultimately, the exercise of listing and
reviewing our family values has helped us establish a family identity. My family and I follow a “Home Builder’s
Principle” identified by Dennis Rainey: Establishing your family's values will
clarify decision making and build unity.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Legacy is founded on faith; fighting for freedom; and forever
for family.
Steve
References
American Family Association. (2012). Take Action:
High School cheerleaders told no
Bible verses on signs.
Retrieved from
http://www.afa.net/Detail.aspx?id=2147527208
Jones, J. (2011). School sued over telling student not to
bring Bible to school. Retrieved
Hoch, S. J., Kunreuther, H.C.,
& Gunther, R.E. (2001). Wharton on Making Decisions.
New York, NY: John
Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Phrase
Finder, The. (2013). Karl Marx. Retrieved from
Rainey,
D., & Rainey, B. (2000). Starting your marriage right. Nashville, TN:
Thomas
Nelson, inc.
Rice,
H. (2000). Lawsuit claims student not allowed to carry Bible. Retrieved from
http://www.chron.com/cs/CDA/story.hts/metropolitan/560670
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