A631.3.4.RB_RuggerioSteven

Goals and Feedback: The Pairing of Success

If you do not set goals you will always achieve them.  Meaning, if I hope for nothing I can expect nothing.  Goals bring commitment and clarity to my character.  My goals tell the world something about me.  For instance, there is a great difference between the person whose goal is to make their first million before the age of thirty and the person whose goal is to build wells for those living without water in a poverty-stricken country.  

Goals are visions of what could be and feedback is the reality that tests our resolve.  Kouzes & Posner (2007) said, “Feedback and goals keep people engaged” (p. 288).  Expanding on their comment, they said, “People need to know if they’re making progress toward the goal or simply marking time.  Having goals helps to serve that function, but that is not enough.  People’s motivation to increase productivity on a task increases only when they have a challenging goal and receive feedback on their progress; goals without feedback, or feedback without goals, have little effect on motivation” (p. 288).

Twenty years in the Air Force taught me a great deal about goals, feedback, teamwork, and personal growth.  After I retired, my understanding continued to grow through a decade-plus of men’s ministry and marriage counseling.  Too often, many people wander aimlessly through life being carried by the wind of other’s dreams and visions.  Handicapped by fear and insecurity, the mass of society esteems the courageous who dare to be different—those men and women with the faith to dream and the tenacity to persevere.

  

John Maxwell said, “The growth and development of people is the highest calling of leadership.” The beauty of leadership lies in its ability to change both leader and follower.  Through interaction and unity, through genuine relationships and experience, and especially by helping each other improve, we learn to create, build, launch, and heal.  The most important aspect of a goal is that there is one.  One of the critical natures of feedback is in the heart of the one who administers it.  Leaders give feedback from a passion to improve others.  In the same manner, leaders should receive feedback from the same position: to improve.

What are your thoughts regarding Brown's contention that there are generational differences in the amount of feedback desired by employees?

Every Wednesday I have lunch with my twenty-year old son.  Today I asked him, “What are you willing to fight for? What are you passionate about?”  I challenged him to examine his heart.  I’ve often asked him about his goals.  I think parents too often overlay their goals onto their children like a transparency sheet on an overhead projector.  Rather than tell my son his goals, I want him to find them; to mine them.  I want my feedback to encourage.  This is a parental challenge in its own right.  For instance, I slightly bemoaned, “You want to work on cars?”  At nearly fifty-years of age, I’ve changed my oil less than five times. “Mechanic? Really?”

I think you get the picture.

Brown (2011) said “There’s a difference between the generations in how to provide feedback. Gen Y (those born after 1980) wanted a lot of feedback—from their immediate bosses and anyone else” (p. 323).  Moreover, he shares that “a survey of Ernst & Young employees found that 65 percent of younger workers said that providing detailed guidance in their daily work was moderately or extremely important. This compared to 39 percent for older workers” (p.323).

My feedback toward my son is meant to guide, direct, and maybe even help him avoid some pitfalls and minefields along the way.   We spend time together and through conversation I’ll add my thoughts in hopes that he’ll grab ahold of a few of them.  Brown also said, “The combination of goal setting with feedback on individual performance has a positive effect on performance.”  That combination helps my son find his way through the challenges of school, girlfriend, his truck, a part-time job, and an uncertain future.  

How much feedback do you generally give and receive?

The terms feedback and advice have been associated with such derogatory context that simply mentioning them can cause people to cringe.  There is a difference between official feedback and unofficial feedback.  For instance, in the Air Force, they have an “official” system referred to as Enlisted Evaluation System (EES).  Among many things, the EES provides meaningful feedback to individuals on what is expected of them, advice on how well they are meeting expectations, and advice on how to better meet the expectations.  The Air Force defines performance feedback as, “private, formal communication a rater uses to tell a rate what is expected regarding duty performance and how well the rate is meeting expectations (DAF, 2003).

While there is a place for official feedback—especially in helping employees achieve their personal and professional goals—the most important and effective type of feedback is the unofficial feedback that occurs when people “do life together.”

By establishing trusting relationships, I’ve learned that the best way to give feedback is from a place of compassion and care.  It’s the old adage, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”  As I’ve learned to develop trust with someone, it gives me authority and access into their lives.  It’s there that I can address inappropriate and selfish behaviors.  Feedback ranges from telling an airmen that they will need to iron their uniform to telling a friend he is disrespecting his wife.

Leading men’s ministry provides me ample opportunity to offer advice about the choices men are making.  Likewise, I’ve told them it is not wise for them to listen to me if I am not listening to someone.  In other words, “don’t submit your life to a mentor or coach who hasn’t submitted their life to another.”  With that said, I have a handful of people in my life that ask me hard questions and provide feedback on my answers.  I can honestly say the feedback given and received is offered in the spirit of love and compassion.  One of the greatest forms of goal setting and feedback occurs in the context of mentoring relationships. Mentoring is a relationship in which a more experienced manager helps a less experienced protégé (Yukl, 2010).

I’m a firm believer in goals and self-development.  Hughes, Ginnett, & Curphy (2002) said, “It is difficult to ask employees to make wise decisions if they do not know where the company is headed.  Employees should know what the company and work unit are trying to accomplish and how these accomplishments will be measured, and they should be given regular feedback on progress” (p. 539). Without goals, feedback is useless.   Without feedback, goals can be elusive.

Have you found that for you personally, having specific goals and receiving targeted feedback has led to more engagement, higher performance, or any other benefits (or drawbacks)?

Brown (2011) said, “To achieve specific goals, employees may require training or additional resources, such as new equipment or information. Managers may need to work with employees in developing action plans. Finally, managers should provide timely and objective feedback when the goal is completed” (p. 324).  Personally, I’ve discovered the more specific a goal, the greater the accountability.  Merely stating, “I want to be a better husband” can be as arbitrary as taking out the trash without being asked.  Rather, stating, “I want to be a better husband by romancing my wife and taking her on a date twice a month” is altogether different.  Lack of specificity leaves room for compromise and rationalization.  Specificity also encourages feedback.

In view of feedback, Dr. Gary Collins (2002) said, “This [feedback] is one form of encouragement, but it involves more.  Feedback is most effective when it deals with specific issues, includes affirmation, and points to ways in which there might be further action or improvement” (p. 111). 

As I began to step into the pastorate and give my time to people in need, I required mentorship and feedback from those who have been doing it longer than I had.  They taught me to guard my time and protect my boundaries.  As a result, I’ve learned to keep other people’s issue in proper perspective and to ensure they remained “their issues” and not mine.

John Maxwell (1995) said, “Feedback is a crucial part of the process of developing people.  I always give them some kind of evaluation.  I’m honest, and I do my homework to make sure I’m accurate.  I give constructive criticism. This lets them know how they’re doing, corrects problems, encourages improvements, and speeds the work” (p. 103).  Having a pastoral mentor walk with me as I grew in church leadership helped me understand the ins-and-outs of church business and relationship management.

What are the implications of your reflection?

John Maxwell (1995) said, “People need clear objectives set before them if they are to achieve anything of value. Success never comes instantaneously. It comes from taking many small steps. A set of goals becomes a map a potential leader can follow in order to grow.”

My growth as a leader has materialized from achieving both short-term goals and long term goals.  Feedback has guided my behavior in accomplishing both.  I’ve learned that if you cannot successfully attain short term goals, then you will be unable to reach long term goals.  Start small.  Jesus said, “He who can be trusted with little can be trusted with much” (NIV, Luke 16:10).  Feedback from 2000 years ago still rings true today.

This assignment reminded me of the importance of specific goals and honest, regular feedback.

Steve

References:

Brown, D.R. (2011). Organizational development. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education,

            Inc.

Collins, G. R. (2002). Christian coaching. Colorado Springs, CO: People Helper’s International,

            Inc.

Department of the Air Force. (2003). Promotion Fitness Examination. Air Force Pamphlet 36-

            2241, Volume 1.

Hughes, R.L., Ginnett, R.C., & Curphy, G.J. (2002). Leadership: enhancing the lessons of

experience. New York, NY: The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Kouzes, J.M., & Posner, B.Z. (2007). The leadership challenge. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley

& Sons, Inc.

Maxwell, J.C. (1995). Developing the leaders around you. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, Inc.

Maxwell, J.C. (2001). The 17 indisputable laws of teamwork. Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson,

            Inc.

Yukl, G. (2010). Leadership in organizations. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc.

A632.7.4.RB_RuggerioSteven

Ministry Collaboration: A Divine Exercise

Leading a men’s ministry designed to challenge and encourage men in their spiritual life can be an exercise in patience and perseverance.  Unlike women, men are not prone to seek-out relationships where openness and vulnerability is the norm.  In fact, just the opposite is true.  Men have a tendency to hide behind an image projected and protected.  However, underneath the thin veneer, behind the curtain, lies a plethora of problems, issues, insecurities, and fears that influences every decision made.  The purpose of each man is buried deep within and often hidden behind a camouflaged masculinity.  My goal is to facilitate the freedom of their true selves; to open the door of purpose and creativity.  

As co-leader of a large men’s ministry, my colleague and I sought to create an atmosphere where men can authentically connect with other men and hear true stories surrounding common, real life challenges.  We selected a group of ten trusted men and asked them to act as a leadership team to serve the needs of over 1,300 men at our church.  We asked each individual what helped him grow relationally, emotionally, and spiritually?  We titled our ministry R.E.A.L. Men.  The acronym Relevant, Eternity-minded, Accountable, and Loyal provided a starting point and mantra that we would carry throughout our relationship.

Rather than two men initiating a large ministry division designed to serve the needs of such a large number of men, we solicited input from these men by creating a diverse leadership team.  Each man had a distinctive church experience.  They were from diverse ethnic backgrounds, different age groups, and various economic means.  We selected married, engaged, and single men.  By seeking the collective experience of these men, we believed the congregational needs could be identified and subsequently satisfied.

Stewart Levine (2009) in his book, Getting to Resolution said, “Tight collaboration and a shared vision allow the miracles of teamwork and collaboration to occur.  Clear agreements with others build teams that can experience an exponential expansion of power” (p. 188).  These ten men helped my co-leader and I make critical decisions about the future of the ministry and the mission of our church in five crucial ways:

1.     Deepened our understanding

2.     Widened our perspective

3.     Clarified our commitment

4.     Strengthened our resolve

5.     Synergized our mission

Understanding your client and customer needs is critical to an organization’s success; in our case, we knew understanding what men wanted from church would be the starting point for all ministry initiatives.  As we questioned each of our leaders, we “heard and learned” new temptations and trials men faced.  We found respect, confidentiality, encouragement, and authenticity to be key desires in their lives.  The more questions we asked and the more we listened, our understanding of the spiritual goals of men became clear.  We began to understand the depth of their desires.

Along the same lines, we became aware of the differences and expectations that exist across cultures.  African-American, Caucasian, Hispanic, Native-American, and other nationalities widened our perspective of men’s experiences in a church setting.  These discussions introduced us to new styles of worship, teaching, and relational expectations.  We began to understand the challenges men face growing up in poverty versus affluence.  By listening to every man in the room, we were exposed to new and exciting possibilities.

As the men shared, our commitment became clear.  In step two of Levine’s cycle of resolution, he talks about sharing stories.  He states, “Getting everyone’s story out on the table defines the problem space, validates everyone’s position, and reveals everyone’s interest” (p. 122).  Hearing the heart of each man reminded us why we started the endeavor in the first place.  Connecting men to each other for spiritual growth solidified our commitment and removed ambiguity. As our commitment became clear our resolve strengthened.

Leading men’s ministry can be discouraging.  Oftentimes men commit to lead church initiatives, community outreaches, and participate in small group fellowship events.  However, emotions wane and life gets busy.  As men prioritize their responsibilities, the spiritual component of life is often relegated to leftovers.  This common occurrence can cause leaders to give up or pursue an easier ministry function.  Why pursue the elusive hearts of men when there are other areas less challenging and frustrating?  As the men spoke of their dreams and desires, we were empowered to persevere regardless of the difficulties faced along the way.

There is great power in joining your vision with others.  The synergy of teamwork is extraordinary. Levine provides an example using Clydesdale horses.  He said, “One Clydesdale can pull 7,000 pounds; two can pull between 18,000 and 25,000 pounds” (p. 187).  Yoking our hearts with other men from different backgrounds created a leadership core capable of reaching men not only in our circles and our church but also in our community, and eventually our country.  We realized the twelve of us; my co-leader and I with the ten other men could achieve significantly greater ministry feats than any of us could ever do alone.  Collaboration was the key to our ministry success.

By instituting R.E.A.L. Men ministries, our leadership team achieved its initial objective of reaching and connecting men in the church and local community.  We were able to combine resources with other men’s ministries in other churches by sharing lessons learned and individual testimonies.  In retrospect, I realize there is another well of information available on the struggles of men: Women.  The ones who live day-in and day-out with men have a front row seat to the desires and disappointments of the men in the church.  By asking questions and valuing their input, we could have encouraged the mothers, wives, sisters, and daughters to positively influence the men as they connected in our ministry.

Finally, because of the success of R.E.A.L. Men, I’ve instituted these collaborative principles in other areas as well.  At work, when decisions affect coworkers and customers, I consolidate with an integrated process team.  Collecting insights, asking questions, and facilitating discussions have enabled me to make wiser decisions with more information.  At home, I’ve encouraged more open dialogue with everyone in the family about present and future decisions that will affect them directly.  Times have changed and Father Knows Best has been replaced by Father Facilitates Best by seeking input from everyone involved.  Lastly, I’ve used the collaborative concepts learned from the R.E.A.L. Men scenario in how I make personal decisions.  We all have blind spots in our lives.  By seeking advice and guidance from others, I believe I’ll avoid making regrettable decisions and can build upon the knowledge and experience of others.

In his book Start With Why, Simon Sinek said, “Our need to belong is not rational, but it is a constant that exists across all people in all cultures. It is a feeling we get when those around us share our values and beliefs. When we feel like we belong we feel connected and we feel safe. As humans we crave the feeling and we seek it out” (p. 53).  Our men’s ministry created an environment for men to connect and to belong.  As a result, men have rediscovered their passion and their purpose.

Legacy is bigger than one.

Steve

Reference

Levine, S. (2009). Getting to Resolution. San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.

Sinek, S. (2009). Start With Why. New York, NY: Penguin Group.