A520.7.3.RB_RuggerioSteven

Coaching and Mentoring Toward Success

In a rapid changing environment, it is easy for people to get lost. Miss a meeting and suddenly you’re left out of the loop feeling like you got off a bus at the wrong stop.  Trying to be successful and “making it big” alone is as dated as our early captains of industry.  Today, companies are capitalizing on leadership by way of coaching and mentoring.  Once considered a fad, coaching and mentoring have increased the spotlight on sharing knowledge, experience, and ways to achieve personal and professional goals.

In the 1500s, the word coach described a horse-drawn vehicle that would get people from where they were to where they wanted to be.  Many years later, big buses with rows of seats also were called coaches, and their purpose was the same: to get people to where they wanted to go.  In Christian Coaching, Dr. Gary Collins (2002) said, “Coaching is the art and practice of enabling individuals and groups to move from where they are to where they want to be. Coaching helps people expand their visions, build their confidence, unlock their potential, increase their skills, and take practical steps toward their goal” (p. 14).

The Air Force has a rich tradition of leading and developing young men and women.  Though they have not fully implemented a “coaching” culture by way of an Air Force regulation, they have created a mentoring policy for their enlisted force.  From imparting pride and patriotism to ensuring adherence to customs and courtesies, Air Force non-commissioned officers (NCOs) are known as “the backbone” of the Air Force.  These men and women are trained and qualified to lead, develop, and mentor new, junior, or career NCOs.  The Air Force defines a mentor as “a trusted counselor or guide.”  Mentoring is a relationship in which a person with greater experience and wisdom guides another person to develop both personally and professionally.

Similar to the Air Force, Ted Engstrom defines a mentor as someone who “provides modeling, close supervision on special projects, and individualized help” that includes encouragement, correction, confrontation, and accountability.  According to Engstrom, a mentor is an authority in his or her field as a result of disciplined study and experience.  This person is willing to commit time and emotional energy to a relationship that guides an understudy’s growth and development.”  Over the years, mentoring has broadened to look more and more like coaching. A major difference, however, is that the mentor works as an expert, while the coach assumes that the client is the one best able and most likely to find direction and move forward” (Collins, 2002).  One of my favorite definitions of mentoring comes from Leslie Camino-Markowitz, director of Next Generation Leadership Programs who defined mentoring as, “Help by one person to another in making significant transitions in knowledge, work, thinking, or career” (p. 34).  This definition transitions nicely to how the Air Force operates.

Everyone in the Air Force has a supervisor. Every individual works for someone from the lowest airmen to the Secretary of the Air Force. However, just because you have a supervisor does not mean you have a mentor or a coach.  One of my first experiences with a mentor was when I was a Technical Sergeant with seven years of service.  Our unit’s Chief Master Sergeant brought me into his office and sat me down to talk.  Usually, these settings were more common for disciplinary action rather than career encouragement.  As I sat across from the “Chief” he began to tell me how he recognized great potential in my abilities and my leadership.  He wasn’t selling the Air Force but rather, building me.  After an hour of imparting wisdom and insight, the Chief pulled out a set of shoulder boards (insignia for a uniform).  He handed them to me and said, “Someday, I believe, you will wear these. I want to be the first to give them to you.”  I never forgot that moment.  It inspired me and made me want to make his vision come true.

While I did progress much quicker through the ranks than my peers, there were a few years where I “lost my way” and found myself making poor decisions from selfish motives.  When I finally came around and galvanized my focus to self-improvement, the Chief’s words continued to echo in my heart.  I retired at twenty-years as a Senior Master Sergeant (one grade below a Chief).  I could have reenlisted and continued my pursuit for another eight years but I chose to hang-up my uniform to better support and serve my family’s needs. While I don’t regret retiring, there are some regrets that I didn’t heed the Chief’s words more closely later in my career.  However, his mentoring in that moment will stay with me forever.

What I needed after the mentoring moment was a strong coach; someone willing to speak honestly about my decisions and strong enough to shake me from my selfishness. Alan Nelson, coach and editor of Rev! Magazine said, “A leadership coach is someone who walks with you for a season, steps into your life and provides feedback, a different perspective, and when appropriate, a nudge to move forward.”  The “nudge” Nelson refers to can be a frank discussion that paints a picture of reality to a person caught in a dazed sense of rationalization and ego.  Whetten & Cameron (2011) said, “In coaching, managers pass along advice and information, or they set standards to help others improve their work skills.  Skillful coaching is especially important when (1) rewarding positive performance and (2) correcting problem behaviors or attitudes” (p. 244).  The latter could have helped me make the changes necessary to achieve my Chief’s vision for my career. 

One of the key lessons I learned was the desire to achieve greatness must originate in the heart of the individual.  The coach and mentor merely motivate, inspire, and shed light on a pathway to achieve one’s passion and goals.  Once the light is light though, there is no great experience to help another achieve their dreams. Frederic Hudson, author of Handbook of Coaching said, “A coach is someone trained and devoted to guiding others into increased competence, commitment, and confidence.”  Watching a person develop into a strong leader fully alive is as satisfying as one’s own success. 

I’ve learned from my mistakes and my successes.  Randy Emelo (2011) said, “Everyone has something to teach and everyone has something to learn.” I’ve had both positive and negative supervisors.  And I’ve had mentors that encouraged me and imparted their wisdom.  Best of all, I still have coaches that walk with me and help me become everything I’ve ever hoped to be.  And while life can get overwhelming and the journey can be difficult, it is the three-fold combination of my faith, my wife’s love, and my coaches encouragement that combine to lift me to heights I never would have achieved in isolation.

Novak, Reilly, & Williams (2010) said, “The leader is not the problem solver or the primary idea-generator. The leader is the keeper of the vision and the one who helps build the capacity in others to successfully solve their own problems and generate multiple ideas and solutions” (p. 34).  From follower to leader and mentor to coach, the underlying motivation is the same: make better people and make people better.  Leadership is a people business.  You can’t lead money, power, or success.  Long after I am gone, the only thing that remains are the investments I made in other people.  That’s how true legacies are made. That’s a life well lived.  While I never put the Chief shoulder boards on my uniform, the trust and belief that one man had in my abilities still rings true today when life gets difficult.  Coaches and mentors understand the power of their words.

Steve

References:

Collins, G.R. (2002). Christian coaching. Colorado Springs, CO: NAVPRESS.

Emelo, R. (2011). Conversations With Mentoring Leaders, 65(6), 32.

Novak, D., Reilly, M., & Williams, D. (2010). Leadership Practices Accelerated into High Speed, 31(3), 32.

Whetton, D.A., & Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing management skills. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson.

A520.1.6.RB_RuggerioSteven

Self-Awareness: Five Core Aspects and the Path to Great Leadership

Sir Isaac Newton’s Law of Motion states, “Things that are still stay still and things that are moving keep moving with a steady speed unless a force of some kind pushes or pulls on them” (Woodford, 2013).  Too many people are paralyzed to pursue their purpose for fear of making the wrong choice.  Unsure of the details and afraid of ending-up at a place not of their choosing, they ask me, “What if I am wrong?”  To use Newton’s insight I often tell them, get moving towards your dreams and make course corrections along the way.  It’s easier to change directions than to initiate movement from a static position.

I began to feel the call to pursue additional education in the fall of 2011.  I considered a doctoral program; however, in the end, based on costs and time requirements, I enrolled in the M.S. in Logistics and Supply Chain Management (SCM).  One of the reasons for pursuing this curriculum was it would provide me with more marketability in my current profession.  Obtaining an M.S. in SCM along with an MBA achieved in 2004 would provide me the resume punch needed should I my current contractual position be eliminated.  And then something began to change.

It’s no surprise that graduate work takes an incredible amount of energy, time, and discipline.  Halfway through my fourth class I began to lose steam and felt I made a mistake in pursuing another degree.  Part of me loved the learning but another part was searching for the passion necessary to call up the discipline needed for late nights and long hours.  Then, while leading a men’s group on a Saturday morning, my dilemma was addressed.  As I was speaking to the men about faith, I stated, “We often make decisions out of fear, e.g., fear of failure or fear of losing our security.”  And then, a small voice inside me said, “That’s what you did.”  Literally, as I was speaking to the men, I felt addressed that I had fallen prey to the very same thing I was warning them against.  After men's group, I pulled my son-in-law aside and told him what had happened.  I was conflicted, uncertain, and yet humbled by the moment. 

It was less than a week when I realized, yes, I was driven and called to go back to school; however, I chose the SCM program out of fear.  I thought, “If I lose my job, firms will have to hire me with these credentials.”  At the same time, I looked at the Embry-Riddle site and noticed they just initiated a Leadership curriculum.  The moment I saw it my heart came alive!  The more I read about it, the more excited I became.  After speaking to my wife about changing majors, I called my employer and the university and “changed course.”  Two of the four classes transferred and now I am two classes form completing this curriculum.  Throughout the program, my family has commented on the light in my countenance and the love I express for the material.  They contrast the two programs and can easily discern that I made the right choice.

I share that story to show that the level of my self-awareness began before taking my first class in the MSLD program and has deepened ever since.  From my first MSLD class Organizational Leadership; I knew I was on a journey unlike any I’ve ever pursued.  Each course has challenged me to evaluate my self-identity and motivations.  They have encouraged me to look at my past and its affect on my present decisions.  Interestingly, from the outset, many would think this curriculum is about “looking outwardly” and leading others.  And while that is true, I believe it is trumped by the leadership axiom, “The first person you should lead is yourself.”  In the light of that perspective, this program recognizes that we can only take people as far as we’re willing to go ourselves.  The deeper we are willing to look inside of ourselves, the further we can look to lead others.  

In Building Below The Waterline, Gordon MacDonald (2011) referenced “having a keen self-knowledge” as one of the traits of a leader.  He said, “If we don’t know ourselves and what shaped us, what neutralizes us, and what our limits are, we invite disaster.  Many men and women in leadership positions are insecure.  Some struggle with large unresolved areas from the past.  Unless the past can be resolved, it often becomes an Achilles’ heel in leadership” (p. 7).  The five core aspects of self-awareness are the primary principles expressed through every course of this curriculum.  Decision-making, teamwork, ethics, and change are woven throughout these qualities.  They highlight and define us individually and lead and guide us collectively. 

Over the next few minutes, I’d like to provide a short summary of each aspect; its meaning, and how it has been strengthened in my life as a result of this curriculum.

Emotional Intelligence

On June 5^th, 2011 I purchased Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence.  It provided me with countless insights and strengthened my resolve to improve my relationships and influence.  Goleman (1995) said, “Handling emotions in someone else—the fine art of relationships—requires the ripeness of two other emotional skills, self-management and empathy.  These social abilities allow one to shape an encounter, to mobilize and inspire others, to thrive in intimate relationships, to persuade and to influence, and to put others at ease” (p. 113). 

Without the slightest doubt, my emotional intelligence has matured and developed.  Goleman breaks his emotional intelligence into four quadrants: Self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.  Each of these quadrants has been thoroughly strengthened by the MSLD course material and discussions.  For starters, it has encouraged me hold my tongue and listen intently to what people are saying rather than seek to solve problems with my first opinion or suggestion.  And, it goes without saying that one of the greatest leadership traits lacking in so many leader is the art of listening.

                          Personal Values

Whetten & Cameron (2011) said, “Becoming more mature in values development requires that individuals develop a set of internalized principles by which they can govern their behavior” (p. 72).  Much of the disappointment we see in our leaders today is a result of values infractions.  Bad decisions made from a good heart are much more palatable than good decisions made from a bad heart. 

The MSLD program has taught me three significant keys in living and leading from my values.  First, write them down.  We have an inherent value system that guides our decisions on a daily basis; however, writing them down and looking at them further solidify their importance in one’s identity.  Secondly, understand how your values may conflict with other people’s value systems.  Education is a great path to diversity and acceptance.  While we can disagree about our beliefs, we do not need to be disagreeable and judgmental.  And lastly, every profession, whether corporate or non-profit, requires leaders to stand upon principle and core values.  This curriculum has continued to enforce the importance of upholding the values of honesty, integrity, transparency, humility, compassion, and courage.  Gini & Green (2013) said, “The moral quality of leadership is summed up in the understanding that real leaders are ethical and possess both virtue and character” (p. 9).

Cognitive Style

Whetten & Cameron (2011) define cognitive style as, “the inclination each of us has to perceive, interpret, and respond to information in a certain way” (p. 74).  Each of us view the world—both input and output—through a series of frames; references built from our personal experiences, education, and expectations.  These frames help us evaluate and interpret and respond accordingly (as defined above).  While they help us organize information they can also act as an inhibitor.  Our frames can cause us to misinterpret, judge wrongly, and miss potential benefits.  The MSLD curriculum—along with my daily devotions and faith—continue to enrich my ability to “see life from another’s perspective.”

People unconsciously process millions of bits of data all day long.  The MSLD path has encouraged me to operate with a greater intentionality on the three learning styles: knowing, planning, and creating.  Though we all vary in each of these, as leaders, we will be called upon to operate within each realm.  Awareness and adaptability of these traits has improved not only the decisions I make, but also how and why I make them.

Orientation Toward Change

In Change or Die, Alan Deutschman (2007) said, “Change is a paradoxical process, and trying to change your own life means opening yourself up to new ideas and practices that may seem illogical or even insane to you, at least until you’ve experienced them for long enough to develop a new understanding” (p. 151).  There is no avoiding it or ignoring it.  One rarely fully understands it or appreciates it.  But, like no other element in leadership—change—with all its troubles and opportunities, our personal approach to it can make or break our ability to lead others.  Whetten & Cameron segment change orientations into two dimensions: tolerance for ambiguity and locus of control.  Both have shown me my strengths and inclinations.  Throughout this curriculum, I’ve been forced to manage both aspects whether in school, at work, with my family, or in ministry.  Approaching ambiguity with a better sense of confidence and operating as a strong “internal” has allowed me to learn from each situation and make the best decision going forward.

Core Self-Evaluation

Whetten & Cameron (2011) define core self-evaluation as “the fundamental evaluation each person has developed about himself or herself” (p. 80).  The past two years have made me more confident and courageous.  It has strengthened my resolve to help others and to lead with compassion and energy.  With only two courses left before graduation, I can clearly demonstrate a greater ability to promote teamwork, cast vision, articulate goals, and lead by example.  I am a better leader today than before beginning on this journey.  Not because I know more but because I have become more.  As Whetten & Cameron (2011) clearly articulated, “People with high core self-evaluation scores have also been found to have higher levels of life satisfaction and personal happiness and lower levels of personal stress” (p. 81).

One of my favorite leadership books is The Leadership Challenge by Kouzes & Posner.  They (2007) said, “Leaders must keep hope alive, even in the most difficult of times.  Without hope there can be no courage—and this is not the time or place for the timid.  This is the time and place for optimism, imagination, and enthusiasm” (p. 349).   The five core aspects of self-awareness continue to refine my ability to lead with courage.  There is no better time in history to be a leader than today.  And rather than pursuing the masses and standing on stage to lead thousands, it is just as important and effective to lead one at a time.  One person can make a difference.  And, the beautiful thing about that strategy is everyone knows at least one person.

Steve

References

Deutschman, A. (2007). Change or die. New York, NY: HarperCollins Publishers.

Gini, A., & Green, R.M. (2013). 10 virtues of outstanding leaders. Malden, MA: John

Wiley & Sons.

Goleman, D. (1994). Emotional intelligence. New York, NY: Bantam Dell.

Kouzes, J.M., & Posner, B.Z. (2007). The leadership challenge. San Francisco, CA: John

Wiley & Sons.

MacDonald, G. (2011). Building below the waterline. Peabody, MA: Hendrickson

Publishers Marketing.

Whetten, D.A., & Cameron, K.S. (2011). Developing management skills. Upper Saddle

            River, NJ: Pearson.

Woodford, C. (2013). Motion. Retrieved from

http://www.explainthatstuff.com/motion.html